Colosseum Novella

(Pokemon Colosseum is a side game in the Pokemon franchise that is surprisingly important to our canon here at EJ. Since I adore this game so much and have claimed the main characters as my own, I'm gonna write it the fuck down. Maybe I took a little too much Nyquil tonight, maybe I didn't. But the important part is that you'll know how it went down in Orre all those years ago when Wes wasn't QUITE yet a boozed-up druggie man-whore because he was only in his teens. Bby.

I also don't really know the format for doing this so I'm just going to wing it.

Also ALSO, I'm gonna change a few details for better story progression, but the main meat of the game will still be here.)

Chapter 1

Normally, I wouldn't go straight to blowing the shit out of the building I'd been living in for the past year and a half. Normally. But you know, I was pretty drunk at the time and when you're blitzed on jello shots and jager bombs -not a great mix, btw- everything seems like a great idea. I'd been so fucking done with top-heavy Gonzap and his angry steroid pecks going and bossing me around all the time, that well, I felt like giving him a great big middle finger straight up his ass in the form of grand larceny. Seemed like a good idea at the time, I promise. Not so much, of course, when I had a sugar crash at that Outskirt Stand.

Well, I say sugar crash. To be fair, it was almost an ACTUAL crash.

"Wes, SLOW DOWN!"

"Yes, please, I'd really like to keep living past the next thirty secondsTHERE'SATRAINTHERE!"

"I fuckin' GOT IT, GOD!" I screamed back at my Pokemon, braking the bike so hard I nearly dumped it. Sand flew, the metal creaked and strained, but it held and I didn't hit the abandoned train engine sitting in the middle of the desert. After a moment for the dust and adrenaline to settle, Rum, my ever-trusty umbreon burst out into relieved laughter, much to his brother's chagrin.

"I can't..." Rum gasped out between laughs as his brother glared daggers at him. "I can't believe that actually WORKED!"

"I can't believe my buzz wore off so fast," I groaned into my folded arms, resting my head on them and the handlebars of my bike. Oh, Jesus tap-dancing Christ I felt terrible. Doing twelve straight jello-shots on an empty stomach was not a good idea. It was five hours ago, but foresight was not ever my forte.

"We don't know that it did, yet, because we're barely away from the Hideout! Gonzap and all of his stupid goons could follow us with that very viable trail we left," Whiskey, the dutiful killjoy Espeon snapped back. Rum chuckled more, which of course only pissed Whiskey off more. "And what in HELL is so funny?"

"Wes and I fucked with their bikes before we blew the place. Unless those assholes are running after us on foot -which you know they aren't- we'll be fine!" He shouldered Whiskey playfully, the gesture doing little to appease his brother's anger. "Hey." I soon felt paws on my thigh as Rum leaned in to press his stupid, wonderful face against mine. "Probably should get you inside and some water and Asprin, buddy. Look at that thing you took."

I let out a long groan, hoping to vent the simultaneous sugar crash and possible hangover from my body before pushing myself up from my bike. Yeah, water was probably a good idea. Whiskey, still ever bitchy as always, hopped out first, glad to be out of my death machine. "You're going to get us all shot," he spat angrily as he trotted toward the train as I dismounted.

"Thanks, Mom." I snatched the loot I'd stuffed from the Hideout and slung it over a shoulder before pocketing my keys and following Whiskey. "Maybe next time do more than just wait in the getaway car while Rum and I do all the freaking work." As we approached, however, two kids about my age waltzed out of the bar and it suddenly dawned on me: holy shit there was a truck there. And that truck was probably stolen. I felt Rum bump against my leg protectively and looked down only to see his cautious expression. His eyes flicked to the truck bed, where there lay a large burlap sack that was very much moving.

Shit.

"Fwaah!" the first Asshole belched out triumphantly, "We sure pigged out, eh? I love chowing down after a job. It adds to the flavor, I swear!"

"Heheheh, yeah," Asshole #2 agreed. "And we bagged ourselves a great big catch, too. Boss'll be sure to fix us up with big rewards, too. Heheheheh, it doesn't get any better than this."

I didn't recognize the two, which meant they weren't from Snagem. And that was good. But the "boss" they mentioned could have been any number of crime lords or self-proclaimed lords that made their dens in Orre. Though the right thing to do would have been to cut loose whatever was squirming in that sack, no one in Orre ever got by by doing the right thing. It was just the way of life here, and everyone seemed to accept that. I didn't relish the fate of whatever was unfortunate enough to be caught by these two morons, especially since they left it out in their metal truck bed, in the sun, in a desert, in the middle of the afternoon. Maybe whatever it was would die of heatstroke soon and wouldn't have to suffer much longer. The two didn't seem to mind me eavesdropping, however, and simply got in their truck and left. All I could do was go about my business.

I'd been inside the Outskirt Stand before when returning from the odd job here and there, so the bartender merely gave me a fond nod as I stepped in. It was little more than a run-down bar, but then again, what else would someone expect out of an abandoned train engine-- in Orre, of all places? It had running water and electricity, though, and that was all anyone could really ask for. Whiskey and Rum were already waiting in our normal booth in the back, the only waitress filling small bowls with water for them to drink.

"So, what did we end up with?" Rum asked eagerly as I sat down, the waitress pouring a water for me as well. I thanked her quietly before popping open a small bottle of pills. With my medicine taken, I shoved the duffel onto the table to inspect.

"Abo--"

As I was about to speak, however, the TV blared out the emergency jingle, a sound everyone in Orre was well-acquainted with. Out of sheer instinct, everyone in the bar stopped their conversations and listened. "Authorities have made a stunning announcement on the mysterious building that exploded in Eclo Canyon: it was Team Snagem's Hideout. Team Snagem is a gang of Pokemon abductors that have already been marked for arrest. The Hideout was discovered only as a result of the explosion. By the time police arrived, the ruined building had already been abandoned. The cause of the explosion is under investigation. It should become apparent eventually." The reporter signed out and the conversations resumed in the background.

"See, Whiskey? We're in the clear!" Rum whispered excitedly to his brother. "With the cops swarming the place they'll be too busy trying to hide to come after us. We should be able to get to Pyrite without a hitch." He was right, of course, and Whiskey knew it; though the Orre police were something of a joke in the region, even Gonzap knew better than to get caught trying to go after a single rogue with no resources. Rum turned back to me, eyes alight with new vigor. "So now that we've got more good news, hit us with what you got."

"Well, about... 3g's in Poke, some food, some water, Gonzap's nipple rings--"

"Wes."

"Sorry. Not much, really. But I did get the BIG prize." I grinned as I pulled the Snag Machine from the bag, slipping it on. It was strangely snug, somehow. Like it meant to fit. "Think of the money we could pull in from this baby. It could get us enough to settle somewhere better, like Agate. It's a decent town, even if it is God's Waiting Room. It's not covered in fucking sand, at least."

"Just Agate? Hell, it could get us to Gateon Port and a ticket out of this trash hole."

I frowned as I flexed my hand as it settled into the grooves of the machine. It was a foreign feeling, but I liked it. How Gonzap thought he was getting his giant tree limb arms into this thing was beyond me, though; it was barely wide enough for his pinky much less the rest of his terrifying arms. "I don't know, Rum. We'll figure it out as we go. But getting away from here is still a great plan now that my headache's leaving."

//Wes.// I flinched at the sudden volume change but settled as I realized it was Whiskey doing his creepy Psychic thing. As much as I hated him talking directly to my brain, though, I had to admit it was handy for being stealthy. //The man in the booth behind you keeps eyeing you. We should leave.//

With a sigh, I give Whiskey a small nod. It didn't take long to rezip the duffel and leave the booth, allowing us a quick escape. I tossed some change on the table first, though, because I'm not a complete cock-guzzler. But the creeper was quick on our heels, calling out to me once we left the safety and shade of the bar.

"Yo, wait! Wait up!" he called. I stopped on the ramp to look back at him, immediately spotting a goofy grin. "Hey, my name's Willie. After I got a good look at you, well, I got this urge to battle you. It's like I'm compelled to." That was... not what I was expecting, to say the least. I glanced down to my Eeveelutions, who seemed just as confused as I was. Rum made his own assumptions about the conversation and simply batted his eyes and puckered his lips. Gross. Funny, but gross. "Anyway I look at it, it's obvious that you're no Ordinary Joe. So what do you say? Let's you and I have a quick battle."

"'Battle,'" Rum giggled as he made eyebrows at us.

"Shut up, Rum-- Yeah, uh, sure... Willie. We'll fight you."

"Yeahah! That's the spirit!" he cried, completely ignoring or oblivious to Rum's remarks. "All right, all right. Over here, this way!" He practically skipped over to a large, flat area nearby, Whiskey, Rum and I reluctantly following. The sun was still too bright and too damn hot for my hangover, but I knew I had to get through it. Maybe I could get some more petty cash off this guy for winning.

I picked my spot to stand as Whiskey and Rum went to their normal spots as Willie started... making motorcyle motions. "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah," he crowed, almost dancing with anticipation. "I'm burning now! I'm on fire now! It's full-throttle time!" I stared at him a moment before catching Rum's eye, who then ever so tactfully mouthed out the words, FOR YOUR DICK. Willie didn't seem to notice that or the subsequent bird I flipped my Umbreon since he was so busy riding his imaginary motorcycle. Please, let that be what he was imagining.

"Vroom, vroom! Let's roll!"

The battle began soon enough with Willie sending out two Zigzagoon and I couldn't help the confident smirk roll across my face. Really? This guy was so amped to show off his... two Zigzagoon? To each his own, I guess, but I would be lying if I said they would have been worth stealing. Whiskey and Rum made quick work of them, their battle strategy working perfectly for the two unevolved Normal Types. Rum would wall attacks while Whiskey would shoot back out powerful ones. It was simple but effective. Willie's Zigzagoon were no match.

Willie returned his defeated raccoons with a small click of his tongue. "Tsk. Wiped out. I still need seasoning." He came forward, placing the small amount of Poke in my hand before putting his own hand on the back of his neck. "But yeah, you're tough. Real tough. You did a real number on us. Hey, I know," He straightened and his eyes widened with realization and excitement. "Why not test your skills out in Phenac City? It's out west of here." He continued, since he didn't seem to notice my cringe. "You'll find trainers who are way better than me there. You should go out there and get some battling in."

"Yeah, thanks, I'll keep that in mind," I replied, barely keeping the vomit down. Phenac? God, never. Willie nodded and waltzed back into the bar as Whiskey and Rum followed me to the bike. "You know," Whiskey began as we readied for the journey, "Phenac IS on the way--"

"Traitor," Rum spat, hopping into his spot on the sidecar. "You actually want to go there? What makes you think they'll even let us IN? They'll accuse us of... having fleas or the Plague or something."

"We'd be passing it anyway going to Pyrite, so what's the harm?" he snapped back. "I don't like it as much as you, but everyone knows not to say no to water. Maybe they'll let us take what we need to get us to leave faster. It's worth a shot and we'd be stupid not to at least try."

Ugh. I hated when Whiskey was right all the fucking time. Made him super smug. "Ugh. Fine. We'll stop there, but only for a little bit and only for water. Then we're getting the hell out of there before they try to, I don't know, hiring us as 'the help'."

"Are you kidding? They'd throw us in jail first-- who would honestly trust a dirty mug like yours to clean their expensive house?"

"Point," I admitted as I started the bike up. I swear I swooned every time I heard that delicious roar. It was like music. "So. First Phenac, then Pyrite. Sounds good." Flipping down my shades, I revved the engine and sped off, eager to continue my lucky streak.

Text color cheat sheet:

Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

Phenac City. "The Jewel of Orre", they call it. "They" being anyone I don't know, I suppose. Sure, it's a beautiful place that looks more like a resort more than an actual town. If you're into that sort of thing. When I was a kid, I thought it was what heaven looked like: free water, clean streets, no shady, seedy bastards lurking around like sharks waiting for the plumpest fish they can gobble up. It was freaking paradise. But I learned very quickly that there was a toll to pay, even for little kids, and that was to be rich, to be clean and to already live there. The lengthy drive was enough to somewhat sober me up, I supposed, but I credit it more to the feeling of impending dread of actually going back in to Phenac.

Slowing to a halt outside the pearly gates, I frowned as I spotted an ugly green and brown slab just inside the city. "Isn't that the truck from the Outskirt Stand?" I asked in a low voice, staying on the bike for a moment. Rum narrowed his eyes.

"...Looks like it," he confirmed. "Those two seemed pretty stupid at the Stand; maybe they're trying to keep their winning streak going? At least the truck's in the shade now." He shrugged. "Maybe we can spring whatever's in that sack."

"No, Rum." Whiskey hissed under his breath. "We don't need more pissed off criminals after us. Especially since we're out of explosives." The Espeon gave me a loaded glare, but I rolled my eyes. It wasn't like I couldn't make more, I just didn't have any one me. "Besides, remember, we're pushing our luck too, just like them-"

"Oh my God, shut up, we get it," I breathed out in a groan as I dismounted the bike. Whiskey's tail lashed back and forth angrily, but I let his anger roll off my back. "We won't mess with their cargo. It's probably dead from heat stroke anyway. Let's just get in and out as quickly as possible and then everyone can be happy." I pocketed the keys and made my way toward the city gate, hoping that I wouldn't be spotted, but it seemed my good luck had already run dry for the day.

"Hey, what are you doing? Get a grip, man!" Tweedle Dee snapped at his partner. I stopped in my tracks. The two were carting off the burlap sack between them, fighting to keep control of it. Well, at least the poor bastard stuck in that thing was still alive. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, (spoiler alert: IT WAS NOT.) but getting in and out of the city was my only real goal. And these two jackasses were promptly preventing that.

"Yeah, you say that but this... it won't stop squirming. Makes it tough to hold on." He was right, at least. Whatever was in there was sure putting up a fight. "Okay, okay. Settle down in there. Just be quiet for a little while longer." My eyes spotted an opening to slip past, but alas, it was not meant to be. Fate had decidedly different plans in store for me that did not include a peaceful retreat to Pyrite.

"Mgflpmmmgg... Beh! Help! Someone let me out! Kidnappers!" My eyes widened in alarm as I quickly realized that they had a fucking person in there. Holy shit, why were human traffickers here in Orre, in safe Arcadia Phenac of all fucking places!? For a moment, my mind went blank as rage filled my entire body. Let's just say I... have... bad memories associated with that sort of thing.

My hands immediately went to my bag to fish out the knife I'd snatched from home. I was going to gut these fuckers like fucking fish, to hell with everything else. "Tch! That tape didn't keep her yap shut!" Tweedle Dum cried. "Hey, quit your shouting!" Knife in hand, but hidden at my side, I stormed toward them, fury guiding my every movement.

"Oh, shit! Did that punk there hear all of that?" the first one cursed, dropping his side of the load to face me, his compatriot doing the same. The girl inside squeaked in surprise, since they just, you know, dropped her, but I paid little mind to her. I was focused on cutting these bitches. "Of course I fucking heard you," I barked at them as they did their best to surround me. "Half the town heard you; you were practically yodeling. If you want to keep something private, maybe don't try being a megaphone."

They scoffed at my hubris, but honestly, I was fairly used to that sort of attitude. I was young and scrappy, sure, but I don't think I've ever looked dangerous. Hell, I think I was 100 pounds soaking wet; I don't think I would have taken little 15 year-old me seriously either. "Since you overheard us, we don't have any choice. Blame it on your own bad luck!" Whiskey and Rum jumped out in front of me protectively as the first guy let out his own two pokemon: twin Whismur. "Fuck him up, Folly!" his buddy cried.

Folly? Wow, your parents fucking hated you. My face turned into a malicious grin. Oh yeah. I was going to enjoy this.

The battle went quicker than the one I'd just had with Willie. His two Whismur were the equivalent of sponges for my very angry pokemon's attacks, fainting almost immediately. Once the two opposing pokemon were returned, the guy wailed, somehow shocked that he'd been beaten so easily. "You took out my Whismur... you're no ordinary trainer, are you?!" He looked up at me then, his face scrunching up for some reason. I hardened my own expression despite my own confusion. What the fuck was his deal? "Huh? Wait a second... That face... Might you be Team Snagem's..."

I didn't get a chance to gut him, or punch him, or anything else satisfying to shut his giant mouth, unfortunately. It was at that moment that some of the townsfolk made their way over, attracted by the noise the battle caused. "What, what?! What's going on out here?!" a jogger cried, others quickly gathering round. Very quickly, the two assholes found themselves outnumbered and surrounded, the final nail in their coffin from the captured girl still in the sack. "Eeek! Somebody! Robbers! They're robbers!"

The one with the stupid hat turned to their prisoner and nearly lost it. "Y-You be quiet! We're no robbers! We're kidnappers! Got it? Kidnappers!"

"Wh-- you dipshit!" Folly cried, smacking his partner upside the head. "Don't shoot off your mouth!" He turned back to me, eyes blazing with anger. "Don't get all happy on account of winning this once. The next time we meet, I'll trash you, your pokemon and all!" The threat did nothing to frighten me, which I showed by giving them a generous amount of both my middle fingers. With that, they ran, high-tailing it back into their truck. They took no time in racing off, nearly taking out a bit of wall as they escaped. I watched them leave with an air of satisfied anger. Bastards. But a thought crossed my mind-- why were they here in the first place? Was there actually a buyer in Phenac, of all cities, for a young girl? The thought was unsettling, to say the least.

"Oh, yuck, there's someone in there!" The voice brought my attention back to the present, as there were a few people bent over the still squirming bag, watching it like some sort of novelty. Figures. To the jogger's credit, he did try to undo the knot keeping the bag closed, but it looked like he was trying to do it without actually touching the bag. "Gah, this is tied good and tight. Can you believe those people? What a horrible thing to do!"

There was only so much of the pathetic display I could actually take before I needed to hit something. Sighing loudly, I strode forward and took the sack's mouth from the jogger, who thanked me and stood, looking for something to wipe his hands off on. I quickly undid the knot before patting the main bulk of the bag and saying, "You're free, in there. Those dickheads left already."

I stood and let the girl crawl out on her own, giving her space. She kicked the sack off of her almost frantically, standing and checking herself over a little before glancing around. She looked like a nice enough girl-- clean, groomed, wearing nice clothes, about my age from what I could figure. Probably why she got picked up in the first place. "Oh- Oh thank goodness, I'm saved!" Swallowing, her hands went to her sides as she took in the town around her once more. "Where... where am I? Where did those two jerks bring me...?"

The jogger from earlier answered happily. "This is Phenac City, the opulent city of water." He then gestured to me, causing me to flinch slightly. I wasn't used to Phenac natives waving their arms at me without a long string of insults attached. "This person saved you from those thugs."

"Well, I--" I sputtered, completely unprepared for actual praise. "'Saved' is a heavy word--"

He turned back to the girl without a second thought, his face alight with excitement. What was with this guy? "The way he battled those goons, it was truly superb. I wish you could have seen it!" My mouth opened to try and counter all the positivity, as I really didn't know how to accept such praise, but no sound came out. The girl turned to me, her face almost as red as her hair.

"W-Wow, that..." she breathed as she looked me over. I could do little more than simply stand there and let her because my mind was imploding. Phenac people were praising me, I wasn't getting chased out of the city, and I hoped to whatever deity out there might have been listening that the girl I'd helped was only that red because she was sunburned. After living most of my life in stealth and animosity, being at the center of attention -good attention- was just too foreign for me to comprehend. "...that does sound amazing... I wish I had seen it..."

She closed the gap between us and shyly held out a small hand for me to take. "I-I'm Rui. Thank you for- for being so... valiant. And you are?"

"Wes." I took her slight hand and shook it, though I didn't hide my enthusiasm for taking it back. I felt my own tan cheeks burn with embarrassment, my entire being unprepared for the way she stared at me. I could handle hate, fear, pity and even lust, but not... whatever this was. Swooning? "And really, the battle wasn't that spectacular, I promise."

She giggled -was that funny? Why was that funny why was she laughing what was even happening- and batted her eyes up at me sweetly. "Either way, Wes, I'm sure glad I met you," she replied. "I was in the neighboring town when those two grabbed me..." Yeah, that would be Pyrite, all right. She seemed to remember something then, exclaiming, "Oh! Those guys, did they use a peculiar pokemon?"

I blinked, frowning at the question. What a weird question. "I-- no, they were just two dumb Whismur. What do you mean by 'peculiar'?"

But my answer seemed to deflate her a little, her excitement dampening with the news. "Oh... No, that's fine, then... It's ok. Thanks for answering me."

A woman nearby came forward, putting a hand on Rui's shoulder. "You poor thing-- you should see the Mayor. With all that happened, surely he can get you back to where you need to be. Maybe he knows more about peculiar pokemon? He's such a sweet man; I'm sure he'd help you." She gave short directions to his house and then bade her farewell, something that sounded pretty good right about then.

Rui gasped in delight. "Oh goodness, you're right, miss! The mayor might know something!"

"You have fun with that then," I said as I shouldered my duffle once again, Whiskey and Rum patiently waiting for me at my sides. "I think I've had enough excitement for one day; you'll be in good hands here, Rui." But as I was about to move away to what I could only guess was the Mart, she grabbed my jacket.

"Wait, Wes!" she cried, "I-I know I'm imposing, but I.... I don't have anyone else I can turn to. Please, can I get you to escort me for a while?"

"Wow, I've never heard that term used in a sentence that didn't imply sex," Rum muttered, to which I kneed him a little to shut his big fat mouth. Rui didn't seem phased, as she eagerly waited for my answer, but despite her giant puppy eyes, I leaned away.

"I don't know, Girlie," I admitted, the reluctance very audible in my voice. "I don't think that'd be such a grand idea..."

"But those men might come back for me," she pleaded, her grip on my jacket getting tighter as she quickly became more desperate. "Please, can I get you to just stick with me for a little bit? I'll- I'll pay you. You'll be like a bodyguard! Please?"

I glanced down to Whiskey and Rum, who seemed to have their own opinions on the matter. Rum was vehemently shaking his head, but Whiskey was more or less shrugging. The girl had been through quite a journey, even I had to admit, and to leave her to possibly just go right back into that kind of fate didn't sit well with me, even if I described myself as "morally ambiguous". Still, I didn't like poking my nose into business it didn't belong and this definitely felt like the threshold to a whole new world of bullshit.

But if I were in her shoes, helpless, friendless in a town I didn't know in a ruthless desert region that didn't care if I lived or died... My conscience couldn't bear it. I couldn't leave this girl, weird as she may have been, like so many people had left me. I heaved a heavy sigh and nodded, already regretting the words I'd had yet to even say. "Fine, all right," I acquiesced, "I'll stick with you. Pay better be worth it, though."

She squealed in delight and nearly tackled me, her tiny arms catching me in a shockingly fierce hug as she bounced up and down. "Ahhhh! Thank you so much, Wes! I thought you'd say 'yes'!" She released me from the bear hug and held me out at arm's length to look me over once more. "You won't regret it!" She looked down to see Whiskey and Rum, her eyes widening again, sparkling with excitement. At least that reaction was normal-- girls loved Eevees.

She knelt down to them and began to pet the pokemon, the both of them enjoying the attention. "Ooooooh my Gosh, they're so cute! What are their names?"

"The Espeon is Whiskey and the Umbreon is Rum," I answered easily, as I'd had this conversation many times before. She looked up, confused by my answer.

"You... named your pokemon after liquor?" she asked carefully, her expression almost concerned.

"Yeah. They're my best friends!" I replied cheerfully, the joke never old. But it seemed to go right over Rui's head.

"If they're your best friends, then... why would you name them... after alcohol...?"

Oh dear God, this was going to be a fucking train wreck. "Because... booze is my-- nevermind," I said as I waved the entire conversation away. "Let's uh, get you to that mayor. Maybe he'll have some answers for you." She stood, her eyes once more wide in excitement as she remembered the entire point of my staying with her, nodding with my statement before bounding off into the city.

Christ above, what had I gotten myself into?

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"Oh my Gosh, this city is so gorgeous, I could die!" Rui cried in delight as she trotted ahead of me, twirling in the square. I was admittedly not walking probably as fast as I should have been, my eyes darting around to each Phenac resident to make sure that they weren't accompanied by security or whatever to have me thrown out. We had just walked out of the PokeCenter, where the resident nurses had given Rui a general exam and some water to combat the likely heat stroke. "Please do," Rum growled under his breath, to which Whiskey smacked him with a snap of his long tail.

"She was just kidnapped, Rum," the Espeon growled back at his brother in a low voice. "Surely you can appreciate that." Though I didn't necessarily want to raise my own voice to indicate I understood the conversation -or attract Rui's attention- I cast a look down at Rum, raising a disappointed brow at him. The Umbreon let out a long groan and rolled his eyes at us.

"Yes, I do appreciate that, WHISKEY," was his exacerbated reply. The two bickering brothers, though seemingly about to physically fight, kept to their respective sides of my legs. "And I feel for her. I do. But does she have to be-- you know, like... like that?" He nodded his head in her direction just as she bent over the fountain, squealing more in delight. Rum flinched at the high note she somehow sustained. I couldn't repress the shudder that went through me.

"Maybe she's just really excited, you know, to not be kidnapped," Whiskey snapped back. "She'll probably mellow out really quickly after the adrenaline dies down. So stop being an ass and let the girl be happy in peace." It was then that Rui bounded back over, her flush face sporting one of the biggest grin I'd ever seen fit onto a person's head.

"Isn't this city amazing?!" she cried, practically bouncing in place. "The people are so nice and everything is so clean and-- is the floor marble?! I looked down in reaction to her surprise -holy shit, I think it actually was marble- but kept quiet, not wanting to spur her on with a conversation or burst her bubble with my own thoughts on the city. There were a lot of reasons I hated Phenac and none of them would go over smoothly with a naive girl who was currently swooning over every palm tree and perfect white wall the city had to offer. So, I figured it was just better to keep my mouth shut for the time being. After all, all I was required to do was get her to the mayor.

Still, I didn't like wasting time. There was shit I needed to do in Pyrite and I still probably needed to get away from Echo Canyon as quickly as possible, since you know, I was a wanted turncoat. And the people that wanted me were not the sort of people I would enjoy catching me. Especially Mr. Steroid Eyebrows himself. "Pigtails, come on," I called, trotting toward the stairs and following the instructions the resident had given us. "Mayor, remember?"

"Oh!" she cried, immediately coming to my side and grasping my arm. "Sorry-- I'm just so excited!" Rum had to jump out of the way of her sneakers, his eyes flashing with anger.

"Fucking shit!" he hissed, which to Rui, only sounded like angry snarls. "Watch where your giant goddamn hooves are clomping, you fucking heifer!" Though she couldn't understand the words like I could, thanks in no small part to the tiny bit of stolen tech lodged in my ear, she could certainly understand the tone. I resisted the urge to flail my arm to loosen her grip as Rum sulked to Whiskey's side, glaring daggers at Rui.

"Aww, is he mad?" she asked, apparently genuinely concerned as she squeezed my arm. Wait, why was she still holding that? Rum muttered a few choice words under his breath, which I could only snicker lightly at. That and Rui's complete lack of observation. Why was she still holding my arm?

"Considering you nearly just kicked him in the ass like a soccer ball, yeah, I'd say so." Besides, that's HIS spot, I added in my mind bitterly. But her eyes widened like saucers, horrified at my answer and she leaned forward to get a glimpse of Rum past my legs.

"Oooooh my Gosh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Rum!" she cried, but he didn't take it well, even with the added honorary. He snorted and kept his eyes forward, hackles slightly raised, tail poofed and his rings pulsed quickly. All classic signs of a very angry Umbreon. But of course, Rui had no idea what any of that meant. She let go of my arm, which was great, but she moved to go and try to get closer to Rum. Despite how funny it would have been to watch the dumb girl get the shit bitten out of her, I didn't want any complications regarding an aggressive Pokemon in a town that already didn't want me there. I didn't see a need to endanger Rum or Whiskey or myself for a cheap laugh. Though, again, it would have been funny. I don't think I can stress that enough. "I didn't mean to--"

I held out the arm she just freed to stop her from getting closer to Rum. "He'll get over it," I teased, keeping myself between her and my pokemon. "We're almost at the Mayor's house, just--" Dumbstruck, I found I couldn't finish my sentence. Not when I laid eyes on her.

She was tall, taller than me and Rui both, which... since we were about 15, I guess that isn't saying much now, but still. The most striking thing about her was the flamboyant, vibrant purple her outfit sported, an outfit that... while it covered most of her skin, it was so tight, it did not leave much to the imagination. At all. Like... I could see every nook and cranny. Every nook. And cranny. She sure had small tits, though. The second thing that caught my eye was the... torn skirt she sported over her eggplant leotard, and then-- oh dear God, her hair. How did hair even do that? Was it made of snakes? Had we just stumbled across a Gorgon? Rui seemed to be under the same spell I was, as well as my two Pokemon, -which supported my Gorgon theory- because everyone just stopped as the Gorgon turned to us-- holy shit she was a dude.

Well, then. I blinked, looking over the stranger again. Eh, I'd still tap it.

"Hm?" Mr. Gorgon pondered as he noticed us on his way out of the Mayor's house. Holy shit, had we almost walked in on a booty call? Was this guy a hooker? He certainly looked the part, what, with the torn skirt, skin-tight rubber suit and crazy sex hair. My eyes widened and my mouth opened in sheer awe, incomprehension and a little bit of jealousy. "You must be a traveling trainer," he purred, his voice sending goosebumps all over my skin. Might still be part Gorgon. His mouth curled into a knowing smile. "Hmm... I like what I see in your expression." What, shock? Maybe a little bit of a shame-boner? He chuckled to himself, probably because I had absolutely nothing to say to that. "I have a feeling I may see you again somewhere." He chuckled again and strode off, leaving us poor mortals with absolutely no explanation of what just happened for our feeble minds to grasp.

"'See us again somewhere'?" Rum repeated, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Good thing none of that was vague or ominous; otherwise, I'd be really confused."

"Yeah, probably on a street corner back in Pyrite," I muttered back as I watched the retreating form fade and disappear into the town. Man, he had an ass. Again, a wee bit jealous.

"Wes, what did you say?" Rui asked, somewhat concerned. "What about Pyrite?"

"Y-Nothing, let's just, uh, go and talk to the Mayor and hope he's decent when we go in. I mean, when we see him." I swallowed and led the way in, tuning out Rum's snickering. Really hoping there wasn't a naked Mayor in there.

I opened the door to find a roomy living room and office, clean enough for Phenac standards. A careful whiff of the room meant that we were relatively safe. Rui followed me in as I quickly returned Whiskey and Rum; I didn't want to put on the impression I was about to attack anyone with them. This was the Mayor, after all, and I needed him to take Rui off my hands.

There was a large older man sitting at the desk, who, at our barging in, rose and came to greet us. A quick glance of his clothes settled my fears even further; nothing appeared rumpled or out of place. Good. Then maybe what I first suspected hadn't actually happened. That was amazing news. "Ah, you must be travelers!" he cried happily. "Welcome to Phenac City. I am Es Cade, the Mayor!" He offered his hand, to which I and Rui accepted. It was weird, shaking the Mayor of Phenac's hand. I felt like I was betraying myself.

"Hello, sir!" Rui exclaimed. "I'm Rui and this is Wes. It's very good to meet you! Your town is so beautiful; I've never seen any other town half as lovely!"

Suck up. To be fair, though, she probably meant it. Regardless, Es Cade gave a hearty laugh and beamed at her praise. "That's incredibly sweet of you, dear!" He looked between us, face still shining with glee. "Now, you wanted to see me. Is there something I can help you with?"

"I--" Rui faltered a little in her excitement, her expression falling a little as she remembered why she was here. I couldn't blame her for being timid, but I also couldn't deny that I was beginning to get impatient. Why couldn't she just spill it so we could be done and I could go back to getting the hell away from Gonzap? "I saw..."

"Oh? What did you see, dear?" the Mayor asked gently. My face contorted a little in disgust; his pandering was getting a bit much for me, but Rui didn't seem to notice. Not surprising. I was getting the feeling that she didn't notice... a lot.

"I saw... a peculiar Pokemon. No, I shouldn't say that-- it only confuses people," she scolded herself, shaking her head before looking back at the Mayor. "What I saw was a Pokemon that gave off a black aura. It was like a fighting machine!" Wait, what? Alarmed, I looked to her, brow furrowed slightly. A black aura? Fighting machine? "And that pokemon-- it attacked people!" I nearly reeled in shock. Why the hell hadn't she said that earlier?!

"O-o-o-o-oh my!" he cried, his overbearing enthusiasm rubbing me the wrong way. Was he mocking her? The fact that he was talking to her almost like a toddler instead of almost the adult she actually was made me think he wasn't taking any of this seriously. Which, normally I wouldn't have cared, but since I was associated with Rui, that meant that I was laughable trash too. And I was done being trampled on by Phenac aristocrats a long time ago. My eyes narrowed into a glare and my jaw set as my teeth clenched. "Pokemon like a fighting machine?! And it attacks people?! Now, if that were true, that would truly be frightening. However, it is a little hard to believe, dear." My eye twitched at the "dear". He kept calling her that. And she couldn't even tell he was condescending to her. To us. I very nearly about to punch the fat fuck.

"But, it's true! It's true Mr. Mayor!" Rui cried, her tone becoming a little more desperate. "Because I saw that pokemon, I was made the prisoner of some horrible, frightening men until just a little while ago."

Es Cade pondered her words a short moment before finally answering. "Hmm... I see. I'll order an investigation at once, young Miss," he concluded, but I failed to believe him. Just like that, he believed Rui's story? And what investigation could he order? The assholes already left and there was little else to do but gather what everyone else had seen. Plus, Rui was the only one who'd seen the dark-aura Pokemon. Where was he supposed to start looking for it? Maybe that meant Rui would stay with him for the course of the investigation, but a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn't let me believe that so easily. He was just... too nice.

"You will?!" Rui exclaimed, completely and utterly thrilled. She even jumped up and down a bit. "Oh, thank you, Mr. Mayor! Thank you so much!"

"Oh no, no-- there's no need for thanks, dear," Es Cade cooed, which only caused my grimace to widen. Yeah, because you're going to do fuck all about it. "We mustn't allow such thugs to do as they please; especially the kind of thugs that endanger a pretty young lady such as yourself." Gross. "I'll ask that you give me some time on the matter. I promise we'll get some useful information for you." There it was. Sure, he'd ask for time in hopes that Rui and I would just go away and the matter would settle itself. Jackass.

"Oh yes," he continued, his tone changing slightly to a pleased sort, "You seem to be Pokemon trainers, no? If so, I urge you to visit our city's pride and joy, our Pokemon Stadium. It's a breathtakingly beautiful Stadium befitting our oasis city!" Rui turned to me, the excitement in both her voice and expression almost poisoning me.

"Oh, Gosh, Wes, can we!?" she exclaimed, once again grabbing hold of my arm. Why did she keep doing that? I cast a glare at Es Cade, who seemed pretty pleased with himself as he went to go sit back down at his desk. "Can you imagine what a Stadium here would look like? Oh, it'd be so rom-- fun!"  She straightened in alarm, nervously laughing her mistake away. I, however, was not fooled. She almost said "romantic", didn't she? Oh dear God. At least Rum hadn't heard it; he'd never let me live it down. "Fun, I meant fun. Ha ha ha! yep, fun. So let's go check it out, please! Then I promise, I'll stop bugging you."

I looked at her doubtfully. "You promise." It wasn't much more of a question than it was a disbelieving statement.

"Pinky swear!" she cried, then rushed out the door. "Come on, let's see when the next battle starts!"

Cursing under my breath, I trotted out after her, casting one last glare back at Es Cade before trying to catch up with Rui, who had gotten surprisingly far already. Where had that speed been when we had been heading up to the Mayor's house in the first place?? "You have to lock pinkies for it to be a pinky promise!" I called, my only answer her high-pitched giggling.

Text color cheat sheet:

The stadium itself was, unfortunately, magnificent; a long, elegant staircase led up a steep hill to the entrance of the large, perfectly white dome structure. Only the top of the white marble was really visible, though, since the rest of the sloped walls were covered in a perpetual babbling river of water, cloaking the whole colosseum in a perfect blue. If I were a more timid person, I may have even found it intimidating. Of course Rui swooned and fawned over its grandeur, nearly tripping over herself has she ran up the steps in her enthusiasm. I was considerably less excited.

"Wes, oh my Gosh, hurry up!" she whined, standing on a step and fuming down at me. "We're gonna miss the next battle!"

"We don't even know if they'd even let me battle, Pigtails," I griped back under my breath, hands stubbornly stuffed into my pockets. But Rui didn't seem to understand my reluctance.

"Of course they will, just hurry up! The Mayor told you to go and fight in the Stadium. Why wouldn't they let you fight?" Without waiting for another rebuttal, she flew ahead of me into the dark archway that marked the entrance, leaving me to debate my options.

Frankly, I could turn tail right then and get to my bike before she could catch me. Which was an extremely appealing thought. Still, the small, black, bitter part of my conscience held firm that I should at least humor her, on account of what just happened to her being terrifying and traumatic. After all... what would I have done for a companion when I was in her place?

Shaking my head free of the dark memories, I eventually conceded to her repetitive and wholly annoying calls and followed her inside. Once out of the harsh Orre sun, my eyes widened in shock at the pristine beauty the Colosseum sported. As much as I loathed Phenac with my Pyrite heart, there was no way I could ever honestly admit that what was in that building was anything other than perfect. Its high dome ceilings sparkled in the gentle natural light from the high windows and sky lights. The floor was ivory marble -of course- and raised above large pools of shimmering, crystal clear blue water. Long, ornate colorful banners hung low from their solemn perches, overlooking the entrants with careful watch. The receptionist sat at a desk shaped in a semi-circle uniform with the rest of the floor and a pokeball hologram hovering above her. Behind her, a thin free-standing waterfall sang, its length going from the entire width of the stadium.

Rui had her mouth covered with her hands, her eyes almost brimming with tears. Tears, really? "Oh, Wes..." she breathed, barely audible over the sound of the waterfall. "Wes, this is the most beautiful building I've ever seen!"

"Yeah, it's pretty but not very practical. What if there's an emergency and people need to be evacuated?" I kept my eyes averted so I wouldn't chance Rui stripping away my unimpressed facade. "I mean, tons of people would go straight into those giant pools. And a waterfall... by the receptionist? All her shit must be sopping wet 24/7. Can't imagine that'd be good for any sign-up sheets or, you know, computers."

I felt a slight smack on my arm to see Rui's disappointed frown. Did she just hit me? "Don't be so rude!" she scolded, walking forward toward the now rather wary woman behind the desk. "This place is a palace and you need to be respectful." I frowned at the sentiment; her statement went against every belief I held. The receptionist and I locked disappointed glares for a moment as Rui addressed her, ignorant of any issues between us. "Hello! My friend would like to register for the--"

"Welcome to Phenac Stadium," the receptionist began in a bored tone, "This is where we register trainers for challenges. However, the current challenge has already started. So, we are no longer accepting trainers for this challenge." Her eyes went back to me and narrowed a little, but the tone didn't change. "Please come back and enter the next challenge." Rui's face fell at the news; her face looked like the woman just punched a Ducklett's face in with her bare hands. "But- But the Mayor--"

I put a hand on the girl's shoulder in a not terribly subtle gesture to get her to drop the subject. "It's fine, Rui," I interrupted, pulling her away from the desk slightly. "We'll just... come for the next one. Maybe by then this nice woman will have pried the stick out of her ass." Using Rui's confusion to my advantage, I pushed her again to distance her and myself further from the reception desk and back toward the entrance. I quickly took the lead, Pigtails hot on my heels.

"Wes, wait, what just happened?"

"Nothing, Rui, just keep walking and stop asking qu--"

It didn't take long to get back outside, but once I did, I froze. Three strikingly similar skinheads were all marching their way up toward me and I felt my stomach drop into my feet. I knew these assholes and boy, did they know me. I gripped the bag slung across my torso tighter, the machine on my arm feeling far too vulnerable now. "Stop asking what?"

"Shut your mouth, Rui!" I snapped back in an angry whisper, the trio finally making their way to surround us. My old co-workers. Snagem.

"Hey, Wes!" the first, Wakin crooned. I scoffed at the hubris; guy was feeling awful full of himself all of a sudden. "Looks like we finally caught up to you, you fucking, filthy, double-crossing traitor." Rui flinched at the angry words and hid behind me, but Wakin's anger did little more than piss me off. I held my tongue, however, since there were fucking three of them. Cowards. "Wrecking the Hideout wasn't good enough for you, so you lift the Snag Machine too? You've got some nerve, you snot-nosed little fucking punk!"

"I'm proud of you Wakin, for pulling your thumbs out of your ass long enough to learn some shiny new words and track down a fifteen year old boy. You earn a gold fucking star. But since you're here, I have a question: if I'm such a little punk, why do you need three of you to take down one of me?"

"Wes, wait-- who are these people?" She came out from behind me, looking at the four of us with an expression of dawning horror. "Are they... are they a part of Snagem? And what did they mean by 'traitor'...? Wes..." My face hardened into an angry grimace as I prepared myself for the inevitable. She'd put it all together and then run off, screaming about us criminals and then I'd get thrown out of the damn city... again. "You mean..."

Wakin burst out into triumphant laughter and it was then I regretted not slitting all their throats before blowing up the damn building. "That's right, little girl, he's from Team Snagem, just like us!" Rui was struck speechless as the truth came out of Wakin's vile mouth. "But he's not any ordinary member, oh no! He's a fucking Snagger. You know, a fucking pokemon thief. Best one in the team, in fact!"

In a display of faith I'd never seen before, Rui turned to me, unwilling to swallow the information about her precious savior. "I-I don't-- no way! Is-Is this true, Wes?" I didn't bother turning my head to look at her, instead taking that time to memorize Wakin's face just before I forcibly made it unrecognizable.

There was only one thing to say. "...It's true."

I didn't want to look at her, but I could feel her disappointment and horror saturating the air around me. It was suffocating. "Wes..."

"All right Wes, enough's fucking enough." Biden stepped forward a little, his voice low with threat. "Give back the Snag Machine you stole and we won't kill you or your little bonnie lass."

"'Snag Machine? Wes, what is that? Do you really have it?"

"Oh my God, why are you asking so many questions?"

"The Snag Machine is what allows us to steal so many pokemon from trainers," Biden explained. It turns normal pokeballs into--"

"Holy shit, dude, shut the fuck up!" Agrev snapped back, cutting the other off. I wasn't surprised that Biden started blabbering; the trio was about as intelligent as a bag of hammers. But it was enough information for Rui, apparently, as she seemed to take... all of this rather well.

"So that's why these creeps are after you!" she spat, a tone of voice I didn't think her capable of. Why... was she talking like that? Holy shit, was she defending me?

"Creeps? We're not creeps!"

Fucking hell, this is getting us nowhere," Wakin snapped, stepping forward. "If you're not going to give the Snag Machine back, we'll take it by force!" I pulled out the only two pokemon I owned and snarled right back at him.

"I'd like to see you try, dickwipe!"

The battle lasted about as long as I thought it would. Upon spotting Wakin and his two stupid Pokemon, Rum and Whiskey wasted no time in going straight for the kill. The Corphish and the Koffing he sent out were there mere seconds before Whiskey tore each of them a new one as Rum tore at Corphish's shell. In a bid to keep his pokemon alive, Wakin returned them both before Rum's teeth actually got through the water-type's hard shell. "Fucking... This isn't over, Wes!" he cried, all of them slowly backing away from my snarling Eeveelutions. "We're going to get that fucking Snag Machine back, just you wait!"

Whiskey, apparently, had heard enough. His eyes glowed a dangerous purple, his Confusion aimed straight at Wakin's chest, hurling him down the steps. The other useless skinheads ran after their fallen comrade and scuttled out of town. I breathed a long exhale, the stress and fear that had been building dissipating. They just... left? Just like that? Hell, if I'd known it would have been that easy, I would have blown that fucking shithole sky-high the moment I'd laid eyes on it. I gave them both a quiet thank you as I knelt down, hugging the brothers close to me. We'd feared Snagem's retaliation would have been much worse than just a vague threat and a shitty, easily won battle. Apparently not.

"Well, what do you know, Wes," Rui's strangely chipper voice sounded to my right, "You're from Team Snagem." I looked back to her, and she seemed to playfully catch herself in her words. "Oh, right. To be accurate, I should say former Team Snagem, yeah?" At my utter confusion and likely blank expression, she giggled and offered a hand to help me back up. "Don't worry, Wes, it's ok. It doesn't matter to me who you are. After all, you're the gallant prince that rescued me when I was in trouble!" I heard a snort behind me, knowing it belonged to Rum, but was too shocked to retaliate. She... didn't care I was a criminal? "So your past doesn't matter to me. Besides, I thought of something after listening to those jerks." Once I was back on my feet, she leaned in, obviously excited.

"Listen, Wes, we should go shopping for some Poke balls." I stared down at her, completely unsure of what the hell she could be thinking. Was... she wanting to steal pokemon? Start her own team? Who the hell had I just saved? I waited for her to elaborate, but she just stared up at me with that weird face.

"...Anything else?" I asked, not even really sure if I wanted the answer.

She giggled and shook her head, instead bounding down the stairs. "Nope! That's all you get. Let's find some balls!" She left me once again in her enthusiasm, Whiskey and Rum about as dumbfounded as I was.

"The fuck just happened?"